Events That Women Were Surprisingly Not Doing While I Was In A Relationship

- Developing computer code to warn them immediately when my MySpace status changes from “In A Relationship” to “Single”.
- Sobbing uncontrollably.
- Memorizing and perfecting my favorite entries in the Kama Sutra.
- Holding raffle drawings to determine who would be the lucky “first dozen”.
- Learning the intricacies of baseball for future wooing purposes.
- Sticking pins in a variety of voodoo dolls who resemble my then-girlfriend.
- Remaining celibate.