Dear Producers of Pornography
I have an idea for you guys, but don’t really have the guts or hatred of my parents to pull it off. You know how during A-list Hollywood productions (say, Top Gun) there’s a sex scene that doesn’t really show anything good and kind of fades out before the actual nasty stuff happens, in many cases using a soundtrack from the band Enigma? Well, why not base a bunch of scenes around what actually happens when the cameras turn off? All you have to do is dress up some folks in costumes, match the sets, music, lighting, start the scene as it is in the actual film, and then have the actors go to town. It could even work with more classic films like North by Northwest, where they didn’t show any of the scene at all because they were all so prudish back then. For that one, just have some blond MILF bombshell done up like Eva Marie Saint, get an old Cary Grant lookalike, throw them on a train, and commence boinking. Also, if possible, can you please do the Rosie Perez/Woody Harrelson scene from White Man Can’t Jump. My parents made my close my eyes during it. Thank you in advance.
